If we have love and respect for Being, sincerity and earnestness about reality and truth, if we have delicacy and refinement, and if we are helpful and generous, then the major obstacles that block the perception of oneness are removed. When I say that the truth is our oneness, or that there is no separateness, I am not saying that when you realize this truth, you will disappear as an individual. You might take oneness to be a loss of who you are; you might fear that you are going to disappear. The condition of oneness can either be the sense that you are the oneness, the undivided Supreme Being, or that you are a unique individual who is inseparable from the Supreme oneness. Your individuality remains, but you as an individual are part of the totality. You realize you are a cell in a bigger body, that your body is a cell in a bigger body. It is not that your body will be erased, nor that you as a unique human being will disappear. No, you remain a unique human being, but that unique human being is an expression of the oneness, is supported by the oneness, and is part of the oneness, one cell in the larger cosmic body. So you are not less and you are not more than anyone or anything because everything is of the same nature. You cannot be more and you cannot be less. – Diamond Heart Book Four: Ch. 6
The only possible way to regain Oneness, the original oneness that we want, is to allow the identity to dissolve. The separate identity needs to go, even the true identity. Attachment to the true identity will keep you separate because attachment creates boundaries. The boundaries need to be lost, and the boundaries can only be lost by the loss of identity itself, by the loss of the separate self. When that goes, then it is possible to see that you are not separate from the original consciousness, that there is only one consciousness, one existence. That is what we call the cosmic level. At this cosmic level you understand that true merging is a loss of your boundaries, so you are One. If there’s a sense of identity, there is not One. You might perceive the cosmic consciousness, but if you are not dissolved in it you can still be attached to it. When there is no individual identity, no boundaries, you will know that what you have always wanted is this dissolution, merging into One. To merge means to lose your self, without holding onto something; you have to lose yourself completely, even your desire, your wanting. – Diamond Heart Book Two: The Freedom to Be, Ch. 4
When you realize oneness, you realize there are no issues, there are no problems, because all your problems relate to yourself. If there is no you, what problem have you got? You realize you cannot die, that nothing can actually happen to you. The worst thing that can happen to you is that your colors and forms will change; one day you look like a human being, the next you look like a tree. Your very nature, who you are, is the same; it is the totality of all of that. It is not actually precise to say that one day you look like a human being and the next day you look like a tree; it is actually more like a little part of you, one cell of you, at some point looks like a human being, and the next day looks like a tree. The rest of you is the totality of the universe. – Diamond Heart Book Four: Indestructible Innocence, Ch. 6
At some point, one is suddenly the impersonal Being. One experiences a sense of absolute oneness. One is not the separate individual, but one is the oneness of all that exists. And after this perception, one experiences oneself emerging again as a personal presence. However, one is no more the withdrawn part of the personality. What emerges is the Personal Essence, with its fullness and preciousness.
This is an experience of the complete integration of personality into Being. The personality, as an ego structure with its sense of self, becomes actually and experientially absorbed into Being; and the integration results in a new synthesis, the emergence of the Personal Essence.
This is one of the ways that the Personal Essence can be born. The Sufis call this process the “remaining after extinction.” One is absorbed into the Supreme Being (the Sufis call it God), but then one is reborn, as an essential person. – The Pearl Beyond Price: Integration of Personality into Being, An Object Relations Approach, Ch. 12