How the Enneagram and Courageous Inquiry Reveal the Parasite of Ego and Addiction to Self
Addiction can feel like being caught in an endless cycle, whether it’s substances, behaviors, or even our thoughts that trap us. Often, we focus on the external objects of our addiction, but what if we’ve been missing the deeper, underlying issue? What if, as Paul Hedderman suggests, addiction is a parasite—an entity that feeds on our mistaken identification with a false self? And what if the Enneagram, rather than just being a system to categorize our personalities, offers us a profound map to see through this illusion and liberate ourselves from the cycle of addiction to self?
In the spirit of the Diamond Approach®, where curiosity and inquiry guide us toward deeper truths, we’re invited to ask: What is this “self” that I’m so addicted to? And more courageously, Am I willing to dig deep enough to see what lies beneath it?
Addicted to Self
Paul Hedderman, a spiritual teacher who explores addiction through a non-dual lens, offers a radical perspective: the root of addiction isn’t in the substances or behaviors, it’s in the fundamental error of identifying with the “self” that addiction feeds upon.
The root of addiction is in the identification with the self, the sense of being a separate individual, which the parasite feeds on. It’s not that ‘you’ are addicted; it’s that the parasite convinces you that you’re the one who needs, desires, and is never satisfied.
Paul Hedderman
From this perspective, addiction is not merely a behavior—it’s a symptom of our attachment to the ego, the false self we’ve constructed over time. It’s a self we believe in, protect, and reinforce with every addictive pattern. But this “self” is not who we are. It’s the construct that addiction needs to survive, a construct that the Enneagram can help us unravel.
A Map to Unveil the Illusion
The Enneagram, like Hedderman’s view of addiction, reveals the mechanics of the ego—the very structure that the parasite of addiction feeds on. More than a typology, the Enneagram offers us a way to see the patterns we have fixated on, the unconscious motivations that shape our sense of self, and how we reinforce the illusion of separation.
The Enneagram reveals the structure of the ego, but also points us toward our essential qualities—those aspects of our true nature that are obscured by the patterns of our type.
A. H. Almaas
In the context of addiction, the Enneagram doesn’t just show us where we are stuck—it illuminates how our very addiction to a particular sense of self is keeping us from accessing the essential qualities of our being.
How Did I Become Addicted to This Self?
It’s one thing to recognize that addiction is a parasitic attachment to the false self, but it raises a crucial question: How did I become addicted to this self in the first place?
This addiction to self begins in early childhood, when we each develop strategies to navigate the world around us. These strategies—rooted in survival—evolve into the fixations of our Enneagram type. Over time, we mistake these patterns for our true identity. As we build our sense of self around these strategies, the parasite of addiction takes hold, feeding on our compulsive need to protect and reinforce this egoic identity.
For example:
- Type 1 (The Perfectionist): Ones become addicted to believing perfection equals worth. The parasite convinces them that if they can get everything “right,” they will be okay, leading to a rigid fixation on control and self-criticism.
- Type 4 (The Individualist): Fours become addicted to their emotional intensity, believing that deep feelings make them unique. The parasite whispers that this intensity defines them, feeding off the highs and lows of emotional experience.
- Type 8 (The Challenger): Eights become addicted to power and control, mistaking strength for security. The parasite feeds on their belief that vulnerability is weakness, keeping them in a cycle of domination and defense.
So, how did we become addicted to this self? It wasn’t a conscious choice—it was an adaptation to the world that slowly solidified into a rigid sense of identity. Over time, this self-addiction became habitual, convincing us that we need to maintain these patterns to survive.
But here’s the thing: these fixations are not who we are. They are the scaffolding of the ego; the parasite feeds on to perpetuate the illusion of self.
Breaking Free from Addiction
In the Diamond Approach, courage is not about fighting external battles—it’s about turning inward with relentless curiosity and a willingness to face the truth of who we are beyond the layers of conditioning and egoic identification. To break free from addiction, we must first have the courage to inquire: Who am I beyond this type, beyond this fixation, beyond this self?
Our Enneatype does not tell us who we are. It reveals our false identification with certain aspects of ourselves.
Sandra Maitri
In addiction, we become enslaved to this false identification, believing that our Enneagram type is who we are. The work of recovery is not just about changing behavior—it’s about dismantling the identification with the egoic self, the very root of the addiction.
When we approach our type with the same curiosity that the Diamond Approach champions, we begin to see the cracks in the structure; we ask: Why am I so attached to this sense of self? What am I trying to protect or avoid? What am I afraid of losing? These are not comfortable questions, but they are the doorways to liberation.
Addiction is a trance state, a defense against pain, and a futile attempt to get from the outside world what only the inner world can provide.
Michael Naylor
In this trance, we believe that satisfying the ego’s needs will bring us peace, but it’s an endless cycle. True freedom comes when we stop feeding the parasite by identifying with the false self and start inquiring into the truth of our deeper nature.
The Freedom of Disidentification
At the heart of the Enneagram and the Diamond Approach is the recognition that the self we have identified with is not our true self. As we disidentify from the ego’s fixations and compulsions, we begin to experience an essential quality of being—freedom not dependent on external circumstances or addictive patterns.
The courage to disidentify from the self is an ongoing process of inquiry. It’s about questioning everything we’ve taken to be true about who we are and exploring the unknown territory beyond the familiar patterns of ego. In this space of open-ended inquiry, addiction loses its grip because the very self it was feeding on begins to dissolve.
The parasite cannot survive when you stop identifying with the self it feeds on. When you realize that the ‘self’ isn’t you, the whole structure begins to fall apart.
Paul Hedderman
Addiction as a Doorway to Liberation
So, how do we wake up from this addiction to self? It begins with the courage to ask difficult questions and the curiosity to explore what lies beyond the familiar fixations of our Enneagram type. The Enneagram offers us a map to see where we have been caught, while the Diamond Approach and Hedderman’s insights provide the tools to break free by disidentifying from the very self that addiction clings to.
Addiction, when seen through this lens, becomes not just a problem to solve but a profound doorway to liberation. It invites us to dig deeper, to inquire into the very nature of self, and to discover the freedom that comes when we let go of the egoic identity we’ve been addicted to for so long.
In this sense, addiction becomes a catalyst for true transformation if we are willing to have the courage to look beyond the surface and see the truth of who we are. The real question isn’t, “What am I addicted to?” but “Who am I, really?”
When we embrace the journey with curiosity and courage, the Enneagram becomes a tool for understanding and transcending the self. And in that transcendence, true freedom lies.