In the work of inner realization, the student comes to a point where he finds it impossible to embody the Merging and Strength aspects simultaneously. He cannot conceive of how he can be merged and separate at the same time. When this conflict arises he usually reports difficulties in sexual functioning, for sexual energy is an integration of these two essential aspects.
The fact is that the conflict is in his mind only; it is not objective. There is never, in reality, any conflict between two aspects of Essence, but he cannot see the objective situation because of his rapprochement conflict, among other things. To believe that two aspects of Essence can be conflictive is like believing that two organs of the body, like the heart and liver, are antithetical in their functioning. The separation of the Strength Essence has nothing to do with rigid boundaries; it is more the capacity to discriminate by perceiving differentiated qualities.
The resolution of the rapprochement conflict between the desire for separation and the desire for merging is the psychodynamic and structural outcome needed on the emotional level for the simultaneous realization of the two essential aspects. – A. H. Almaas, The Pearl Beyond Price: Integration of Personality into Being, An Object Relations Approach, Ch. 24
We frequently feel the turn towards the inner depths of Being as a turning away from the world, as an abandonment of the world of manifestation and experience. This can bring up what has remained of our rapprochement conflict, but deeper still, it brings up guilt for abandoning the world. Abandoning the world can be understood at this level as abandoning our mother, the deepest object for the libidinal ego. This brings out deep anguish and guilt, with a torrent of tears and sorrow. We are actually turning away from all objects, including mother’s internalized image, and towards the depths of our Being. There might also be conflict, fear of separation, and fear of loss… the passionate love for truth can be so powerful that it dissolves all these barriers with clear and discriminating understanding. Now, the student might find herself turning completely towards the depths, into her heart, the window to the mystery of Being. – A. H. Almaas, The Point of Existence: Transformations of Narcissism in Self-Realization, pg. 421