The courageous heart is independent of what the other person does and what the other person thinks of you. To have a courageous heart, you need to accept a certain kind of aloneness, a certain kind of independence. With the courageous heart, you are so independent that the person can do all kinds of unpleasant things but you can still see the reality. In that independence, the feeling is that you have to give constantly, regardless of what the other person does or what the situation is. That is where many people balk. If the person is being a jerk, why should I give? Right? Why should I give in to a jerk? Why should I be understanding? Why should I be accepting? You are understanding, accepting, and forgiving not because of who the other person is, but because of who you are. That is independence, that is autonomy, and that is aloneness. So you have a real relationship with yourself. Having a real relationship with yourself allows you to have real relationships with others. – Diamond Heart Book Four: Indestructible Innocence, ch. 11
Furthermore, being courageous doesn’t mean being foolhardy—jumping into danger without understanding. The courage we’re talking about is the courage to recognize the situation for what it is, to be willing to see the truth as it is, regardless of how frightening it may be. This is the courage of discrimination. Another way of saying this is: Taking a risk is not the same thing as putting yourself at risk. The courage we need for inquiry is not a matter of being counterphobic, where you just jump into the situation without acknowledging your fear. That’s foolish, not courageous. – Spacecruiser Inquiry: True Guidance for the Inner Journey, ch. 18
Now a courageous heart is a heart willing to love regardless of the negativity. The courageous heart is the heart that will love in spite of the badness that is there. The courageous heart is not just the heart that only loves and nothing else; it is the heart that loves regardless of what happens. The courageous heart is the heart of unconditional love: whether the other is good or bad, you continue loving them. Usually, with your friend or your spouse it is easy for you to be loving if the other is loving. But if the other is frustrating or mad, angry or rejecting, right away you shift, and close your love and bring in another reaction. You are hurt, you are angry, hateful, or frustrated, and if you are angry, frustrated, or hurt, you do not let yourself feel your love, at least not at the time of your initial reaction. What splitting does, more than anything else, is close the heart. Whether you are all bad or all good, whether you are all loving or all hateful, what you are doing more than anything else is covering up your courageous heart. You are not allowing yourself to have your courageous heart, to be your courageous heart. You are not allowing your love to be unconditional. Your love becomes conditional. You respond lovingly only under certain conditions, or with certain manifestations of the other. – Diamond Heart Book Four: Indestructible Innocence, ch. 11