The Impossible Resolution
The issue of suffering—its omnipresence, depth, and our struggle to reconcile it with a life of compassion and joy—has been one of the most profound and persistent spiritual puzzles I’ve encountered. In my decades-long spiritual journey, I’ve sought, studied, and wrestled with this paradox, but I have yet to meet anyone who could resolve it intellectually. The mind, with all its analysis and reasoning, falls short when faced with the vastness of human suffering and the desire to help. It’s a problem that cannot be “solved” in the way we solve other problems, and perhaps this is because it demands something beyond the intellect—a shift, a surrender, and an opening that defies the ego’s need and capacity for resolution.
Podcast Discussion
I have had two profound experiences with this issue, each providing a glimpse into the nature of suffering and compassion beyond what the conceptual mind can offer. The first occurred over twenty years ago, and the second, only ten months ago, was triggered by the ongoing conflict in the Middle East. In both cases, I was brought face-to-face with the raw reality of violence, pain, and suffering. Experiencing this depth of suffering stretched my ego to its breaking point, pushing it beyond its capacity to control or “solve” the problem. And then, in the collapse of my egoic defenses, something unexpected happened—a miraculous opening, a freeing of the heart.
At that moment, as the ego structure dissolved, I experienced the heart expanding in a shocking and profoundly grounding way. This wasn’t the emotional heart as we usually think of it, vulnerable and prone to wounding. It was the heart of true nature—a vast, indestructible presence that could hold all suffering without being diminished. It was as though, as the pain and suffering intensified, the heart grew in equal measure, providing an unshakeable foundation for a sensitivity that was utterly undefended and infinitely receptive. This heart, I realized, cannot be scarred or marred; it is a depth that embraces everything yet remains unblemished at its core.
This experience left me with a taste of what I am attempting to express here: an affirmation, not an argument, of the impossibility of resolving this issue within the framework of the ego. It’s not about “fixing” suffering or avoiding it. Instead, it’s about returning to the place within ourselves that can hold it all without collapsing under its weight—a place that does not demand the world change but embraces it fully as it is.
The Bodhisattva Paradox
This paradox—the bodhisattva issue—is one faced by spiritual seekers across time. In Mahayana Buddhism, the bodhisattva vows to forgo final enlightenment until all beings are liberated from suffering. It’s a commitment to engage with the world’s suffering without attachment, without the need to “save” in an egoic sense. How does one walk this path, embodying compassion while freed from the need to fix, change, and resolve?
This paradox took on new dimensions when I encountered the example of Mother Teresa. Here was a woman who spent her life immersed in suffering, working among the poor, the sick, and the dying, yet she seemed to radiate an inner joy. But as her private writings reveal, she was no stranger to the “dark night of the soul.” She often felt distant from God, experiencing an inner desolation that mirrored the suffering she encountered daily. Rather than seeing this as a flaw or failure, she understood it as part of her service—a way to empathize with those she served, to feel their suffering as her own. She was able to hold suffering with a heart that was open, vulnerable, yet indestructible. Her joy wasn’t a denial of suffering; it was an embrace of it, born from a connection to something beyond the limitations of ego.
Mother Teresa’s life provides a glimpse into what it means to act from a place of compassion that isn’t driven by the ego’s need to “fix” but is a natural, unbounded expression of love. This is the bodhisattva’s challenge: to engage with suffering without being defined by it, to act compassionately without attachment to outcome, and to find joy in the act of service itself, not as a means to an end but as an expression of one’s true nature.
Childhood Conditioning and the “Wounded One”
This challenge often begins in childhood, where we are subtly taught to hide our joy around those who are sad and suppress our happiness when others suffer. In an attempt to foster empathy, we learn to stifle parts of ourselves, conditioning that teaches us, at an early age, to associate joy with guilt when it arises in the presence of pain. Psychologically, this creates a dynamic where we begin to identify with the “wounded one,” the self that feels responsible for fixing or alleviating the suffering of others. We internalize a belief that we must diminish our light to honor others’ darkness, creating an inner conflict that grows more complex as we encounter suffering.
As adults, this conditioning can deepen into an identification with the “victim” or the “healer.” We believe that we, the ones who were hurt, must somehow “heal” ourselves or the world to become whole. But this belief is a trap because the self that was wounded, the identity of “the hurt one,” is a construct. The true self—the depth of our being, our true nature—remains untouched by any wounding. True healing, therefore, does not involve restoring an unwounded ego. It consists of seeing through the identification with that wounded self, discovering the essence within us that is already whole, already free, and capable of holding suffering without being defined by it.
The Collapse of the Separate Self and the Liberation of the Heart
In my own experiences, encountering the depths of suffering has brought me to the edge of this identification with the “wounded one.” The suffering was so vast and overwhelming that my ego could not hold it. And in that collapse of the separate self, the heart revealed itself as something far more spacious and resilient than I had ever imagined. This heart is not detached in the sense of being removed from suffering; instead, it is profoundly connected to it, able to feel the entirety of pain without being consumed by it.
From this place of non-dual awareness, the heart does not shrink from suffering, nor does it cling to the need to alleviate it. There is an acceptance of suffering as part of the world’s reality, yet this acceptance does not lead to passivity. Instead, it allows for compassion free from egoic attachment, a love flowing naturally as a response to suffering without the need to “solve” it. It’s a paradoxical state: engaged and free, deeply connected to the world’s pain yet resting in the joy and peace that transcends it.
Engaging the World’s Suffering Without Attachment
From this perspective, engaging with the world’s suffering becomes a spontaneous expression of the heart, not a project of the mind. When we perceive suffering from the depths of true nature, we find ourselves moved to act, not from a need to fix or heal but from a natural, boundless compassion. This action is not driven by ego; it does not seek validation or success. It arises in the face of suffering, a response that does not cling to outcomes.
This echoes the bodhisattva’s vow to alleviate suffering not because the world needs to be “fixed” but because compassion flows naturally from the realization of oneness with all beings. In this state, we can engage suffering without attachment, feeling it fully without needing resolution. This compassion is neither numb nor overwhelmed; it is an open-hearted presence that meets suffering as it is.
The Indestructible Heart and Joy Beyond Suffering
Ultimately, these experiences have taught me that the true heart—the indestructible heart—is not concerned with fixing the world’s suffering. It is an essence that holds all things, from the most profound sorrow to the highest joy, without demanding anything in return. This heart knows joy as its nature, a joy that coexists with sorrow and does not retreat from pain but embraces it as part of the whole. This joy is not contingent on external conditions; it is a quality of being itself, a peace present in every moment, no matter how turbulent.
This heart is the heart of true nature, the place beyond the ego’s reach, where suffering is met with compassion but not entanglement. It does not turn away from the world’s pain or cling to bliss. Instead, it holds both spaciously and openly, finding the most profound form of freedom in this impossible paradox. This is the joy of true nature—a presence that is both witness and participant, untouched yet infinitely responsive.
The Path Beyond Healing
In this light, healing is not mending or restoring what was broken. It is the dissolution of the idea that we, as separate selves, need to be fixed. When we rest in our true nature, we find nothing to heal, for the self that feels wounded is a temporary veil over a deeper wholeness. This indestructible heart, once revealed, is untouched by suffering, even as it embraces it fully.
To live in this place is to embody the impossible resolution:
to meet the world’s suffering with love and presence, even though the self who once sought to fix everything has dissolved.
It is to respond to life not as a means to an end but as an expression of being itself, a dance of awareness that flows with compassion holds suffering,
My wrestling with all of this continues…