Courage, Strength, Aggression – Type 8 Women
As an Enneagram Type 8 male and someone who counts two best friends who are Type 8 women among the most important relationships in my life, I offer this reflection not as a definitive statement but as an open invitation for discussion—an invitation to dive into the intricacies, contradictions, and strengths of Type 8 women. Let’s lay the cards on the table: the distortions, the societal myths, the cultural baggage, and the potential—oh, the profound, untapped potential—that Type 8 women carry. This is not a manifesto but a doorway, leading to a deeper understanding of what it means to be a woman of power, grace, and paradox in a world still struggling to grasp the wisdom of such a potent, feminine force.
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Type 8 Women and Strength
Let’s start with a bit of history. Type 8 women have always stood apart, often labeled as “too much.” History has a funny way of celebrating and vilifying those who defy its norms. Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, and Joan of Arc—figures we both revere and critique—weren’t just women in power; they were women of a certain kind of power. Assertive, bold, and unafraid to step outside the small, neatly folded boxes society had prepared for them.
Yet, the broader truth is that history also holds a more nuanced narrative. There have been cultures that embraced this kind of strength. Think of Spartan Greece, where women were encouraged to train their bodies and rule their households with as much vigor as the warrior men. Or the Viking shieldmaidens, who fought right alongside their male counterparts. Even in Ancient Egypt, women like Hatshepsut were seen as divine rulers, wielding both the scepter and the sword without apologizing for their authority.
So, if history tells us anything, it’s this: Enneagram Type 8 women, in all their strength and complexity, are not an anomaly. They’ve always been here—it’s just that some parts of society still don’t quite know how to handle them.
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Expanding the Feminine Narrative
Now, we find ourselves in a narrative shift as women challenge the patriarchal paradigm. Strong women are not just redefining leadership but expanding what the feminine can embody. Power is no longer synonymous with control and detachment—it’s something far more relational, nuanced, and whole.
Take Margaret Thatcher, the “Iron Lady.” She embodied what happens when a Type 8 woman enters a world unprepared for her. Sure, she was tough and courageous, but that toughness was often seen as a necessity to survive the halls of male-dominated power. But then there’s Angela Merkel, whose quiet, steady leadership showed the world that a woman can be both strong and compassionate, resilient yet soft-spoken, changing the world with diplomacy rather than force.
In business, figures like Indra Nooyi (8?) and Sheryl Sandberg (8?) offer a new leadership vision. Nooyi led with the sharp, strategic mind of a CEO while also never forgetting that leadership requires heart. Sandberg’s Lean In called for women to embrace their inner power unapologetically, breaking down the narratives that say women can’t lead without becoming something “other” than women.
Power isn’t control at all—power is strength, and giving that strength to others. A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make them stronger; a leader is someone willing to give strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own.
Beth Revis
These women are not just breaking glass ceilings—they’re reconstructing the entire building, showing us that strength doesn’t have to fit the masculine mold it’s been prejudiced toward.
Patriarchal Bias and the “That Bitch” Label
Let’s get irreverent for a moment. Why is it that when a woman owns her power, she often gets called a bitch? Not just any bitch—“that bitch.” You know the one. Strong. Assertive. Confident. In control. But let’s pull back the curtain here because what’s going on? Isn’t that label more of a reflection of the man’s insecurity than the woman’s “aggression”? When men feel overshadowed or outdone, that discomfort often gets projected onto the woman. It’s not her strength that’s the problem; it’s the deep-seated fear that maybe, just maybe, the world isn’t for men to control anymore.
A woman is like a tea bag—
you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Type 8 women challenge this outdated paradigm, standing in a power that demands respect rather than mere tolerance. Their assertiveness only threatens those who are too deeply wedded to their insecurities. And here’s the kicker: it’s not the woman’s problem. She isn’t arrogant or grandiose for embracing her power—she’s simply embodying who she is, and the world better catch up.
The Healing Potential of Embracing Vulnerability
But here’s where it gets even more profound. For Type 8 women, embracing that vulnerability holds the potential for deep healing as it does for all 8s. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s the key to unlocking a more expansive, flexible kind of power—the kind that doesn’t need to scream or shout—it simply is.
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.
Brené Brown
Like all Enneagram Type 8s, when a Type 8 woman allows herself to be vulnerable, she’s no longer defending her strength—she’s embodying it. And here’s the alchemical magic: vulnerability will enable her to build deeper relationships, to be seen by others, and to connect in ways that control and dominance never could. It’s the paradox of power: the more open you become, the more powerful you are.
This shift transforms everything in personal and professional relationships. She’s no longer leading from a place of control but from presence, which, as we know, breeds trust. Vulnerability becomes the bridge that connects her to others, allowing her to lead in ways that foster openness, authenticity, and—dare I say—love.
Type 8 Women and the Feminine Archetype
The feminine does not possess itself as power; it is power.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés
In reclaiming their essential strength, Type 8 women also redefine the feminine. For far too long, femininity has been placed in the box of passivity, of nurturing, of playing small. But Type 8 women smash that box wide open, showing that femininity can be as dynamic, commanding, and fiery as the masculine. And yet—here’s the beauty—it’s not either/or.
By integrating assertiveness with warmth and leadership with sensitivity, they embody a feminine force not restricted by gender expectations. They invite the world into a dance where power, grace, independence, and connection exist as both opposites and partners.
This redefinition challenges men, too. By embodying strength and vulnerability in equal measure, Type 8 women invite men to reconsider their relationship with power. Maybe power isn’t about dominance. Maybe it’s about presence. Perhaps it’s about allowing strength and openness to coexist in harmony. And maybe that’s where true masculinity is found, too. Ya think?
Empowering Future Generations
Here’s to strong women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them.
Unknown
As Type 8 women continue to walk this path, they offer a powerful example to future generations. Young girls who may feel “too much” in their skin now have role models showing them that strength doesn’t need to be hidden—it’s something to be embraced. These girls are watching, learning that their boldness, assertiveness, and leadership are gifts the world needs. They don’t have to apologize for who they are.
And boys? They’re watching, too. They’re seeing that strength doesn’t mean shutting down emotions. They learn that real power lies in staying open, even when the world tells you to “armor up.” Type 8 women living their truth, are giving boys a new script for what it means to be strong.
A New Paradigm of Power and the Feminine
Ultimately, Type 8 women aren’t just reclaiming their power—but reshaping the collective understanding of what power means. It’s not about control or dominance. It’s about standing firmly in who you are, with the courage to be vulnerable and the wisdom to know that strength doesn’t have to look like the old paradigms we’ve been fed for generations.
You can tell who the strong women are. They are the ones building each other up, instead of tearing each other down.
Unknown
For Type 8 women and all of us, the journey from ego-based strength to essential strength is profoundly transformative. But here’s the natural gift: as they embrace their full power, they open the door for all of us to step into a more expansive, integrated understanding of leadership, femininity, and strength.
Enneagram Type 8 women aren’t just changing themselves—they’re changing the world. And the world is better for it whether it knows it or not.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and reflections on the ideas shared here. Whether you’re a Type 8 woman, know one, or are just curious about how strength, leadership, and vulnerability intertwine your perspective matters. Let’s keep this conversation going—leave a comment to share your feedback and insights. Together, we can deepen our understanding and break free from old narratives, creating space for new possibilities.