When Awareness Leaves You Black and Blue

Black and Blue Essence

Stepping onto the spiritual path can sometimes leave you feeling physically black and blue. Still, awareness opens doors to profound depths, revealing the mysterious interplay of pure consciousness and the absolute, an interplay between black and blue essence.

Podcast Discussion

When I stepped onto the spiritual path fifty-five years ago and began meditating, a deep blue field started to arise in consciousness. It was easy to relax in this field, free of thoughts, as it held a whisper of magnetic intrigue. The blue had an appeal, a subtle, comforting pull that invited me to rest in its presence. As my spiritual journey unfolded, I encountered even deeper dimensions—experiences of black space, the void, and the Absolute.

In time, I noticed that the blue itself began to change, deepening into a rich cobalt blue and eventually merging into a blue-black presence. The blue became so profound that it appeared almost black yet still perceptible as blue—a deep, boundless quality that soothed and beckoned me as this mysterious interplay of black and blue unfolded within my awareness.

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your being—clear, blue, and boundless as the sky.
Hafiz

Let the waters settle, and you will see stars and moon mirrored in your being. See the blue vastness that is your open sky within.
Rumi

The blue sky opens out further and further; the daily sense of failure goes away. The damage I have done to myself fades; a million suns come forth with light, when I sit firmly in that world.
Kabir

Pure Depth of Consciousness

Awareness, at its most intense, can expose us to depths within ourselves that feel raw, even bruised, as it pulls us beyond ordinary perception into the vast realms of essence. Through this journey, two essential qualities—pure consciousness (blue aspect) and the absolute (black aspect)—invite us into a profound integration. This merging represents the ultimate union of knowing and mystery, revealing an experience of boundless, still, and unified consciousness.

Pure Consciousness and the Clarity of Being

Pure Consciousness and the Clarity of Being

The blue aspect of essence, often called pure consciousness, is the dimension of true knowing. This expansive, lucid awareness allows for perception without the filters of mind or emotion. Unlike the thinking mind, which divides and labels, pure consciousness is a direct and peaceful knowing. It illuminates reality offering a stillness that clarifies. In the presence of blue essence, we encounter a pure awareness that requires nothing, simply resting in itself as a tranquil, observing consciousness.

This dimension brings a profound openness, where habitual thoughts or identifications no longer confine consciousness. It is a peaceful knowingness that embraces everything without judgment, free of the need to grasp or define. However, stepping into pure consciousness can feel unsettling; it requires us to let go of the familiar mental structures we rely on for a sense of self. This surrender, while gentle, can feel bruising as it exposes the inner vulnerabilities we often shield with concepts and self-images.

The Absolute and the Mystery of Non-Being

The Absolute and the Mystery of Non-Being

The black aspect, or the absolute, is the essence of pure mystery—an unbounded stillness that exists beyond all knowing, a void lumiosity. While blue essence offers clear knowingness, black essence represents the ground of all existence, a formless presence that holds everything in its infinite depth. Encountering the absolute pulls us into a profound void that dissolves all boundaries and definitions, leaving only the extensionless-vastness of being.

To experience black essence is to face the essential emptiness of self. It strips away our attachments and plunges us into a realm of non-being, a place beyond concepts, where the ego’s need for control dissolves. This can feel humbling and freeing, for the absolute reveals an unshakeable foundation—a stillness at the core of our true nature. Here, we encounter that existence is not an object or entity but a boundless, mysterious presence.

I saw a black depth within my soul, an infinite silence that spoke only of God. And in this darkness, all was love.
Teresa of Ávila

There is a darkness so deep it becomes pure clarity. When the soul falls into this blackness, it finds itself seeing all as one.
Meister Eckhart

To reach the mountain’s peak, I descended into a blackness deeper than night, where light is no more, and the soul knows only silence.
St. John of the Cross

Boundless Consciousness and Infinite Mystery

Boundless Consciousness Infinite Mystery

As awareness deepens, we reach a unique state of integration between pure consciousness and the absolute, where the black and blue aspects merge into a singular, unified presence. This integration brings us to an experience of boundless blue-black mystery, a clear and unfathomable consciousness, peaceful yet infinitely deep. In this state, consciousness and the absolute interpenetrate, forming an awareness that is luminous, profound, and beyond differentiation.

This blue-black absolute is a condition of complete mental rest, consciousness that no longer reflects on itself or divides experience into subject and object. It is a knowing that does not require any cognitive process, where pure consciousness and the depth of the absolute meld into one presence. Here, we experience reality as a vast, deep blue expanse that darkens into black at its depths—a mystery that holds both clarity and emptiness in perfect harmony.

In this integrated state, awareness becomes a single, undivided field. The clarity of pure consciousness merges with the profundity of the absolute, creating a consciousness that is both aware of itself and free from the need for any specific identity or conceptual knowing. It is a state of absorption in the truth of being, where the mind and consciousness dissolve into the boundless presence of true nature. This condition reveals the richness of reality, a beauty that arises from the seamless union of awareness and mystery.

Embracing the Path of Integration

Embracing the Path of Integration

The journey toward this integration of black and blue essence is nonlinear, requiring surrender and resilience. Awareness may move back and forth, gradually drawing us deeper into the truth of our being, even if it feels like being left black and blue along the way. The challenges and “bruises” we encounter on this path are signs of transformation, invitations to expand beyond our limited concepts and identities.

When awareness leaves you black and blue, it is not a wound to avoid but a sign of growth, a testament to the depth of your journey. This bruising is a reminder that the merging of consciousness and mystery is not merely a concept but a lived reality that requires openness, courage, and willingness to let go. Each experience of pure consciousness or the absolute deepens our connection to the blue-black mystery within, guiding us toward an unbounded presence that holds light and shadow, clarity and depth.

In the blackness of night, I found the pearl of eternity. The darkest depths of my being turned into light.
Rumi

To live in this blue-black awareness is to embody a peace that does not depend on circumstances, a consciousness that knows without needing to define, and a mystery that reveals the true nature of being itself. It is the culmination of a journey that transcends the mind, offering a glimpse into the boundless reality that we are beyond all separation or division. In this way, the path of awareness, even when it leaves us black and blue, is a path toward wholeness, an ever-deepening encounter with the essence of existence itself.

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