Open-Ended Inquiry for Deeper Client Relationships
Clarity often seems out of reach in our daily lives, like trying to catch smoke with bare hands. The Diamond Approach’s® method of open-ended inquiry isn’t just another tool in the self-help arsenal—it’s a compass for navigating the maze of our thoughts and emotions, especially when building strong client relationships. Instead of rushing to find answers, it invites us to linger on the questions, peel back the layers of our experience, and uncover deeper truths. Whether grappling with a tough decision, seeking to understand a loved one, or simply reflecting on our journey, this practice encourages a profound self-awareness that transforms how we live and connect.
In the hustle of business, it’s easy to forget that behind every deal and handshake is a person with a story, dreams, and needs. The secret to truly connecting with clients—and not just selling to them—is understanding who they are at their core. And the best way to get there? Open-ended inquiry.
The Magic of Asking “Why”
Think about peeling an onion. The first few layers are thin and easy to remove, just like the surface-level answers you get when you ask a question. But as you keep peeling—asking “why” repeatedly—you start uncovering what’s driving the person’s decisions.
This method, known as the “Five Whys,” goes hand-in-hand with the Diamond Approach’s idea of open-ended inquiry. The Diamond Approach isn’t just about getting answers; it’s about digging deeper and uncovering the truth. When you ask your clients why they need something and why that’s important to them, you start to reveal their real motivations—the stuff that truly matters to them. It’s not just about making a sale; it’s about building a relationship rooted in genuine understanding and trust.
The Diamond Approach: Digging Deeper
Developed by A.H. Almaas, the Diamond Approach blends psychological insight with spiritual wisdom. At its heart is the practice of inquiry—a journey of discovery that uses open-ended questions to explore the many layers of the self. This process isn’t about getting quick answers; it’s about peeling back those layers like that onion to reach the core of what’s real.
Using the Diamond Approach’s style of inquiry can be a game-changer in client relationships. When you engage with clients in this way, you’re not just listening to what they say; you’re uncovering their true needs, even the ones they might not be fully aware of. This deeper understanding forms the bedrock of a relationship that’s not just professional but personal and lasting.
Curiosity: The Door to Connection
In his classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Genuine curiosity is a powerful thing. You’re not just doing business when you show real interest in your clients and ask questions because you want to know the answers. You’re building a connection.
This isn’t about asking questions for the sake of it. It’s about giving your clients the attention they deserve and showing them that their thoughts, feelings, and goals matter to you. And when people feel valued, they’re more likely to open up, trust you, and work with you.
Peeling the Onion: A Nod to Fritz Perls
Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt therapy, used the onion as a metaphor for the layers of our personality. Each layer represents a different aspect of who we are—from our defenses and habits to our deepest fears and desires.
In the context of client relationships, this metaphor is spot on. You’re peeling back the layers of your client’s responses by asking open-ended questions. You’re moving past the surface to understand what’s driving their behavior. This kind of inquiry helps you serve your clients better and builds a relationship based on trust and authenticity.
Understand Before You Sell
In “Think and Grow Rich,” Napoleon Hill wisely said, “The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself.” Before pitching anything to a client, ensure you understand who they are and what they need. This ties in perfectly with Stephen Covey’s advice in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
You’re not just selling a product or service when you take the time to get your client’s challenges, goals, and concerns. You’re offering something that genuinely fits their needs. This transforms a simple transaction into a meaningful exchange where both sides feel heard and valued.
Know Thyself First
Understanding others starts with understanding yourself. Before you can truly connect with clients, you must have clarity about your values, motivations, and goals. Seeking to understand others is crucial, but this process is grounded in the self-awareness that comes from knowing who you are first. When you know yourself deeply, you bring authenticity and confidence to every client interaction, laying the foundation for trust and meaningful relationship.
Building Relationships, Not Transactions
In “Never Eat Alone,” Keith Ferrazzi reminds us, “Success in any field, but especially in business, is about working with people, not against them.” Open-ended inquiry isn’t about getting what you want out of a conversation. It’s about working together with your clients to discover how you can help them succeed.
This collaborative approach shifts your role from a salesperson to a trusted partner. When your clients see that you’re genuinely invested in their success, it builds a foundation for a relationship beyond the immediate deal. It becomes a partnership based on mutual respect and shared goals.
Key Takeaways
- Ask “Why” Repeatedly: Use the “Five Whys” technique to uncover what truly drives your clients, like peeling back the layers of an onion.
- Practice Genuine Curiosity: Show sincere interest in your client’s needs. This builds trust and fosters deeper, more meaningful relationships.
- Understand Before You Sell: Make sure you fully grasp your client’s challenges and goals before offering solutions.
- Collaborate, Don’t Dictate: Work with your clients to find solutions that meet their needs, creating a relationship based on mutual respect.
Open-ended inquiry isn’t just a technique; it’s a way of approaching relationships with curiosity, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand. By asking the right questions and listening to the answers, you uncover the deeper motivations that drive your clients. This creates authentic and enduring connections— in business, those connections are the key to long-term success.