Narcissism has become a hot topic in recent years, with more and more people seeking to understand narcissism, narcissists, and the painful narcissistic wound. The terms narcissism, narcissist, and narcissistic have consistently been top search queries, bringing visitors to psychology and self-help websites. Most are looking to recognize narcissism and learn how to deal with narcissists in their lives.
Many thousands, tens of thousands, and hundreds of thousands want to understand more about narcissism and narcissists. The vast majority seek knowledge on recognizing narcissism and dealing with (or living with) a narcissist.
We’re all narcissists. We all suffer from narcissism, which is a normal condition of ego identity, it being self-centered.
Narcissism is part and parcel of the ego self. The ego self, the narcissistic self, is the self that 99.9999% of the world takes to be who they are.
Narcissism results from a disconnection, a forgetting of one’s true nature. At the core of the narcissistic self, the ego self, is the narcissistic wound, one of the most painful experiences of human loss – the loss of the true self and its ontological ground.
Narcissism is fundamentally a misplaced sense of identity – we’re taking ourselves to be the ego identity, the constructed sense of self, a historical sense of the self associated with the body. We have lost touch with what we truly are, a being of true nature not based on history, ideas, and self-image.
The Diamond Approach has much knowledge, wisdom, and teaching on the self, the individual consciousness, identity, and ego. Consequently, there is much insight into narcissism, its fundamental roots, and what it brings to the human experience.
A. H. Almaas, founder of the Diamond Approach to Self-realization, sees narcissism as an exaggeration of “fundamental narcissism,” the estrangement of self from its spiritual ground. While Freud saw primary narcissism as delusional wholeness, Almaas refers to the true identity as an authentic non-dual self-realization that becomes interrupted, causing progressive alienation from true nature.
Understanding Narcissism and the Narcissist
Almaas traces four major forms of narcissism – oral, central, oedipal, and individuation – corresponding to developmental stages and arising from the loss of essential aspects. His integrative perspective utilizes ego psychology, object relations, and self-psychology to depict narcissism as a spiritual deficiency, not just a psychological issue.
The Nature of Narcissism
According to the Diamond Approach, narcissism reflects a lack of contact with Personal Essence, a manifestation of Presence. This leads to:
- Need for mirroring and idealization.
- Exaggerated self-absorption.
- Superficial grandiosity.
The Narcissistic Wound
The narcissistic wound frequently stems from early emotional trauma, tied to an impaired recognition and connection to our true identity, the point of existence, and our real self, the personal essence. It involves:
- Feelings of inadequacy and deficiency
- Seeking external validation and props
- The grandiose cover-up of low self-worth
The Path to Healing
The Diamond Approach sees healing and resolving narcissism as requiring spiritual and psychological exploration to reveal and challenge the nature of the ego self. Realizing the essential quality of “Living Daylight” boundless, divine love helps to resolve underlying narcissism by supporting the process of misidentification from the false self and melting the psychic boundaries of separation. Truly understanding narcissism demands integrating psychological and spiritual dimensions. This allows us to move beyond ego into a deeper experience of our true nature.
A. H. Almaas has written two profoundly insightful books that bring clarity and precision to the intersection and interface of the spiritual and psychological terrain of the self and identity. These are The Pearl Beyond Price: Integration of Personality into Being: An Object Relations Approach and The Point of Existence: Transformations of Narcissism in Self-Realization.
These two books have been referenced in countless psychological and spiritual articles and books, as well as master theses and doctoral dissertations.
According to Almaas, all manifestations of narcissism including clinical or pathological narcissism originate in, and are exaggerations of, a condition of “fundamental narcissism,” the estrangement of the self from its ontological ground. Whereas Freud saw the experience of wholeness and perfection in primary narcissism as delusional, Almaas claims this as an authentic state of “primary self-realization” in which the infant is nondually immersed in its essential nature. Due to both natural developmental factors and environmental failures, however, there is a rupture in identity: the infant begins to identify with self-representations derived from the retained impressions from early object relations and becomes progressively alienated from true nature. Tracing this process, Almaas utilizes ego psychology, object-relations and, particularly, self-psychology, to delineate four major forms of narcissism: oral, central, oedipal, and individuation, each of which corresponds to a particular developmental stage and arises due to the loss of the specific essential aspect associated with that stage. The Culture of Narcissism Revisited: Transformations of Narcissism in Contemporary Psychospirituality by Ann Gleig