The third virtue or quality is what is called delicacy. It is the nature of the ego-self or personality that it is thickskinned, thick-headed, hard, and tough. This hardness, toughness, thickness, and dullness is the circumference, or the boundary between you and everyone else and the rest of the universe. So that’s why you need to become more refined, more delicate. You need to have more gentleness, more vulnerability, more receptivity and permeability. You need gentleness and consideration, a kind understanding of yourself and other people and other beings. If you treat yourself or other people roughly, gruffly, or unkindly, you are making your boundaries thicker. You are not only hurting other people; you are hurting yourself. So the gentler you are, the simpler you are, the more delicate you are, the more sensitive you are, the closer you are to the reality of oneness. – Diamond Heart Book Four: Indestructible Innocence, ch. 6